150 Ampere

Have you ever wondered what wacky or outrageous antics you can possibly get away with when using your cell phone while drunk?  The next time you are inebriated, feel free to perform what we feel are the top ten tips and tricks that you can do with your cell phone just when you are roaring drunk.

1.    Ring up a random friend on your cell phone’s address book and have a chat with him /her in a very loud voice.  Scream at him/her if you want to.  If he/she hangs up on you without saying goodbye, call your friend back and tell him/her that he/she is being rude.

2.    While talking with your friend, yell at him/her about your messy signal and rattle off every single complaint you have about your cell phone service provider.  Encourage him/her to commiserate with you if the two of you have the same provider.

3.    If your friend is still on the line, get into the longest long-winded story you could think of and regale your friend’s ears with it.  Stretch your call for as long as you can make it; the longer it is, the better.  Congratulate yourself if you manage to extend the call for more than 30 minutes.

4.    Make your phone call to your friend in a really public or crowded space.  Yell at your friend on the other line for as loud as you can and make sure that there are lots and lots of people watching you hold your drunken conversation on your phone.

5.    After a couple of drinks, play with the settings of your cell phone and choose the loudest and most annoying ringtone that you have.  Download a really noisy and irritating track if your phone is WAP-capable.  The catchier the ringtone is, the more attention you will get.

6.    Show up at the theater, at a concert or at a public performance well into your cups and deliberately forget that you have your cell phone’s ringer on.  Better yet, set it to maximum volume.  Let your ringtone compete with what the orchestra is playing on stage.

7.    Boast about how cool your phone is with your drinking buddies.  Recite every feature your phone has, in alphabetical order if you can muster it.  Make a demonstration of the wonders of your cell phone if your friends won’t believe a thing you are saying.

8.    If they still won’t believe you, slam your cell phone on top of the table.  If you feel up to it, throw it across the room to show how durable your phone is.  Better yet, dunk it in your drink.  If that still won’t convince them, nothing will.

9.    Drive around drunk with your cell phone still in hand.  Continue making random calls and sending random text messages while driving.  Just make sure there aren’t any cops in sight.

10.    Have a flight to catch?  Show up at the airport and board your plane reeking with drinks, and then conveniently leave your cell phone on.  After all, no one has really proven conclusively that cell phone signals jam the plane’s navigation system, right?  Surely the plane won’t crash because of a mere cell phone.

Just make sure that you’re really drunk when you do all these, okay?